Made to Crave:
- “Is it possible we love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?”Thought-provoking question, Lysa. Really, this hit me hard. Do I rely on food more than God? “For we do not live on bread alone…” I hear Jesus say to the tempter after 40 days of fasting in the desert. Lysa continues to write, “I craved food more than I craved God. Food was my comfort. Food was my reward. Food was my joy. Food was what I turned to in times of stress, sadness, and even in times of happiness.” (pg 21) I am an emotional eater. I get bored, I eat. I am depressed, I eat. I am stressed, I eat. And for a burned-out diabetic, this is NOT a healthy choice to make. “Oh, I’ll just take this much insulin…” And so the vicious cycle continues.
- Does God care about what we eat? Scripture seems to show that He does. Think about the manna He provided for the Israelites as they traveled through the desert for forty years. Only take what you can eat for the day. If anyone took more, it disappeared by the next day. In Leviticus, there are rules laid out for how to eat and what kinds of foods to eat. It took me a while to realize that these “laws” for cleanness of the spirit doubled as a way to keep us from eating spoiled and rotten foods. God really does look out for His people! Did you ever notice that before?
- “Each time I craved something I new wasn’t part of my plan, I used that craving as a prompt to pray.” That is good advice, whether it is a food craving or any kind of craving. How many of us struggle with sexual addictions, alcoholic or nicotine addictions? If when those temptations to sin rear their ugly (yet tantalizing) faces, we fall on our knees and cry out to the Holy One to open an escape hatch, how much more likely will we be to go through the escape hatch? Lysa quotes Psalm 5:1-3 in this section as well.
- My own battle with weight goes back to my early teens. What 12-13 year old girl (almost woman!) does not struggle with her self-image? I wore baggy shirts to hide my developing-way-too-fast breasts. I felt uncomfortable. My younger sister was tall, thin, blonde and beautiful. I felt short, pudgy, and ugly. I wanted to fade into the background, but never figured out how. I am learning that I am beautiful, and numbers on a scale is only a small sliver of what that means. Inches lost means more than weight lost toward overall body image. Seeing myself from within, that I am knit by the King of Kings himself helps get me through each day and each tear shed upon the scale. Psalm 139 has been my mantra since I started therapy (again) in 2009.
- There is a worksheet on page 31 to determine your level of Burnout. Yeah, I fall into the 4% of diabetics who are “extremely distressed.” That is a WAKE UP CALL! The options are: Not distressed, Moderately distressed, Very distressed, and Extremely distressed. I am glad I have my physical next week, so I can begin to tackle this extreme distress! Apparently, I am at WAR with this disease! The author assures me that I “can make peace with diabetes.” I sure hope so!
- Step 1 to finding peace, as found on page 31, is to “investigate what it is about diabetes that is driving [me] crazy.” Are my struggles “personal, interpersonal, and/or environmental?”
- Day-to-day struggles
- Social relationships
- My own attitudes and feelings
- My environmental stresses
- Second worksheet: Here, I was evaluated on how stressed I am (or am not) in the areas of Self-Care, Social, Feelings, and Stress. Anything with a score of 16 or less is acceptable. Wouldn’t you know it, my lowest score was a 23. Eeek! How did I not realize how burned-out I have been feeling??? My feelings toward diabetes and diabetes management was the highest score with the following concerns: frightened of long-term complications; worried that no matter what I do, I will face these complications; I must be perfect in how I care for myself and monitor my diabetes; and I am scared and depressed when I think about continuing to live like this. Self-care was my next highest scoring category. My three areas of concern here are as follows: Not sticking to a good meal plan, not exercising enough, and not checking my blood sugars frequently enough.
- Good news is: the chapters ahead will tackle each of these low-points. I think I will read through all of the “sticky points” and not just the ones I listed above. God, you are really working me over with these two books! And for that, I am thankful. I know I need this. I am thankful it is this week when I am sick and recovering from pneumonia. I am glad it is before I go to my physical next week, and start looking for a new endocrinologist.
- Ironically, “Mel,” whose testimony is shared in the book, had the same two high scoring categories I did. All but 1 of the same top-ranking issues! Thank you, “Mel,” for sharing your story so I don’t feel alone in this journey!
This is going to be deep. I am already aware of the issues I face. I know as I continue to read and reflect, God will guide me to create a plan of action, and He will equip me with HIS strength so we can tackle the plan together. When I am WEAK, HE is STRONG! (2 Cor 12)
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