Why won’t He heal me?

Do you ever go to church services and they have an altar call, and a call for people to come forward to receive prayers for healing?  Yeah, I’ve done that.  And each time I did that (years and years ago), I left proclaiming I will not need to check my blood sugar or take insulin ever again!  …only to have my mother tell me hours later, “Check your blood sugar.  You need insulin.”  I fought it.  But I did…and was well over 300 that afternoon.  “Why won’t God heal me?”  I shouted!  I doubted!  It’s my doubt!  I don’t believe enough, is that it?

Psalm 103:3 says “…Who heals all your diseases…”  Immediately I think, “why not this one, Lord?” 

Then it hit me:   I have to remember, the ONLY disease for which we NEED healing is that of SIN. He heals us from SIN. I don’t NEED to be healed from Type 1 Diabetes to know that this God is REAL, that He is the ONE TRUE GOD.  And here, God directs me back to 2 Cor 12: “So to keep me from being too elated by the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given to me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from being too elated.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, HE is strong.”

I have to be honest, I am still working on being GLAD in my weaknesses.  I still struggle with being diabetic.  These verses just keep me going.  I press on.  And I trust that God has cleansed me of my sin, again and again and again as I stumble through this life.  God, you are a merciful God, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.  For this, as your child, I am grateful and blessed.

Remember:  “True prayer is not about getting our way, but about surrendering our will.”


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