- Psalm 84:2 ~
English Standard Version (ESV)
My Soul Longs for the Courts of the Lord
To the choirmaster: according to The Gittith.[a] A Psalm of the Sons of Korah.
84 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord of hosts!
2 My soul longs, yes, faints
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
to the living God.
3 Even the sparrow finds a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may lay her young,
at your altars, O Lord of hosts,
my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house,
ever singing your praise! Selah
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
in whose heart are the highways to Zion.[b]
6 As they go through the Valley of Baca
they make it a place of springs;
the early rain also covers it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength;
each one appears before God in Zion.
8 O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer;
give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah
9 Behold our shield, O God;
look on the face of your anointed!
10 For a day in your courts is better
than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
from those who walk uprightly.
12 O Lord of hosts,
blessed is the one who trusts in you!
To assist me in understanding and processing this verse, I look at the verse in context (thus the whole passage above) and at commentaries. Here is what Spurgeon has to say on this (http://www.spurgeon.org/treasury/ps084.htm)
“Verse 2. My soul longeth, it pines, and faints to meet with the saints in the Lord’s house. The desire was deep and insatiable—the very soul of the man was yearning for his God. Yea, even fainteth; as though it could not long hold out, but was exhausted with delay. He had a holy lovesickness upon him, and was wasted with an inward consumption because he was debarred the worship of the Lord in the appointed place. For the courts of the Lord. To stand once again in those areas which were dedicated to holy adoration was the soul longing of the psalmist. True subjects love the courts of their king. My heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God. It was God himself that he pined for, the only living and true God. His whole nature entered into his longing. Even the clay cold flesh grew warm through the intense action of his fervent spirit. Seldom, indeed, does the flesh incline in the right direction, but in the matter of Sabbath services our weary body sometimes comes to the assistance of our longing heart, for it desires the physical rest as much as the soul desires the spiritual repose. The psalmist declared that he could not remain silent in his desires, but began to cry out for God and his house; he wept, he sighed, he pleaded for the privilege. Some need to be whipped to church, while here is David crying for it. He needed no clatter of bells from the belfry to ring him in, he carried his bell in his own bosom: holy appetite is a better call to worship than a full chime.”
The essence of our beings CRAVES God! We crave time with Him, we crave worship before Him. And yet, we so easily replace our time with God for things like food, television, movies, video games, sex, drugs, etc. Why is this the case? I think the biggest reason is this: it is easier. Plain and simple, grabbing a bag of chips is easier than taking out our Bibles and highlighters, reading, processing, discussing His Word. It is easier to drown out the stress in my life by immersing myself in a novel and a pint of ice cream than it is to let the light of the Spirit shine in the darkest corners of my soul.
I also find myself in a battle of desiring to be disease-free. It is so much easier to ignore the problem, to live life as a non-diabetic, than it is to address the disease head-on. I struggle, especially after 28 years, to check my glucose levels. I have been checking more frequently as of late, and yet I struggle to get my levels under control. Do you ever feel that the more effort you put into something, the worse it gets? I know this is the enemy trying to discourage me. I need to shout, “Get behind me, Satan!” I know I need to cling even more to the truth in God’s word, to desire His presence in my life, to put on His armor so that I may stand firm and fight this battle with God’s strength.
I desire change. I desire to let the Lord work in my life, for the Holy Spirit to come in, again, and direct me to the cobwebs that need to be removed, to the mold growing under the tiles of my heart, to the old wounds that have yet to heal. I desire to be the temple that the Lord has created me to be, so that I may be in His presence. I want to choose time with the Lord. I want to teach this to my son. He will model what we as his parents teach him, and above all, I want him to love the Lord and understand his need for a savior.
I want to be healthy and whole physically and spiritually. I desire this so that I, as much as I am able, can be the best wife, mother, daughter, and Child of the King of kings.