One of my favorite psalms is Psalm 42. Take a moment to read it, letting the words sink into your soul..
- As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival. Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
These words speak to me deeply and remind me that even in my grief, despair, frustration, desire for food or anything else, God is with me. He IS my HOPE and my SALVATION. Lysa also mentions Lamentations 3:22-24 “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’”
And so I will wait for Him. I will learn to desire the Lord to fill the voids in my life when it seems only food (cake and ice cream) will do. I do overindulge way to often: on coffee, cake, candy, cereal, even apples and peanut butter and Murder She Wrote. And none of this is good for the diabetes, right? See, it is all connected. This battle has many fronts. And by the grace of God, “we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37)
In the last two months, I am recognizing that my triggers seem to be emotional and hormonal. I do track my cycles, so I can definitely see the correlation with Monday’s and Wednesday’s craving episodes. Hopefully today will be better! And I have another month to brainstorm some strategies to overcome the cravings brought on by hormone fluctuations. I think I will try iron supplements the week of my next cycle. For emotional triggers, I think it would be helpful for me to blog through the situation, searching scripture to fight through the lies of the enemy in those moments of weakness and stress.
I know blogging won’t work for all the stress-points. For example, one of my stresses right now is my son who is refusing to eat or sleep. He has been up since 5:30 this morning (thus the lateness in my blog post today), is on his 4th bottle (2 of milk, 1 of diluted apple juice, and now 1 of water), is very cranky, and is refusing to nap. I gave him teething tablets because I am certain he is teething. I just want to go shave my head and hide away in my bed right now. I am seriously fighting the urge to grab my husband’s clippers, plugging them in and going crazy on my scalp. I think it is time for a salon day…
Today is a new day. Leave the pizza in the past, let the stress go, and pray for wisdom and strength that comes from the Lord alone. And pray for my son…he really needs some rest, and his momma needs some sanity!