Lies Women Believe, Chapter 3

So I have been a bit slow in my reading of Lies Women Believe.  I just finished the 6 week study on Made to Crave, and just started the 6 week study on Made to Crave Action Plan.  Since both of those are daily interactions on the Online Bible Study Blog, and my small group at church meets every two weeks for Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ book, I’ve been very lax on my involvement there.  Forgive me.  I am confessing this to help keep myself accountable!

Now, back to Chapter 3:  Lies we believe about ourselves.  Yep.  My view of myself is almost as important as my view of God, and has a very similar effect on how I live my life and live out my beliefs.


Lie #7:  I’m not worth anything.

Truth #7:  I am a daughter of the King of kings.  That makes me a princess.  He loves me, He created me! 

Ephesians 2:4-9 ESV

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God

Psalm 139:13-16 ESV

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Matthew 6:25-34 ESV

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Matthew 10:31 ESV

Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

There are so many verses that support this truth that I am LOVED!  That I have VALUE!  That I am the princess who belongs to the Master of the Universe!  Check out this website:

This song, though not my top choice for WORSHIP does have powerful lyrics that speak the truth of our worth in God’s eyes.  So, when I hear this song on the radio, I am reminded that I am loved, that the forces of this world have no power over me, and that all of this is temporary.  My eternity is in the presence of my God, my King, my Abba.


Lie #8:  I need to learn to love myself.

Truth #8:  Nancy Leigh DeMoss made a great point when addressing this lie.  She made the claim that we DO love ourselves to a fault!  On page 70, she wrote, “If we did not care so much about ourselves, we would not be so concerned about being rejected, neglected, or mistreated.”  On page 87, she summarizes it with this:  “I already love myself.  I need to deny myself and let God love others through me.” and “By faith, I need to receive God’s love for me.”

This is a truth I struggle with.  This lie has been a huge part of my past struggles as well.  See, I never have poured into my own self-care very often.  I hate doing my hair, wearing make-up, getting dressed up (who honestly LIKES to wear NYLONS???  I apologize now if you do…forgive me!).  I have struggled with condemning myself over and over again for mistakes, for my sins, for my short-comings.  I have felt ugly, unworthy, unlovable.  But does this mean I need to learn to love myself?  Is Nancy’s truth my truth too?  Scripture speaks of loving our neighbors as we love ourselves.  We seek to feed ourselves, to clothe ourselves.  We seek shelter.  Will we also seek to feed strangers, to clothe them, to shelter them as we do ourselves?  Even when I beat myself down with condemning thoughts, I still get up, get dressed (maybe still in pajama pants, but I am dressed!), and make coffee and toast.  But am I opening my heart to God’s truth about loving MORE than just myself?

Luke 9:23 ESV

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

Philippians 2:3 ESV

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

John 13:34 ESV

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

2 Timothy 3:1-17 ESV

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

This next song is not one you will hear on the radio, but the truth in it is solid.  “Follow me,” Jesus says.  What exactly does that mean, and what does it look like?


Lie #9:  I can’t help the way I am.

Truth #9:  “Just as I am, without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me, and that thou bidst me come to thee, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.  Just as I am, and waiting not to rid my soul of one dark blot, to thee whose blood can cleanse each spot, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.  Just as I am, though tossed about with many a conflict, many a doubt, fightings and fears within, without, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.  Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind; sight, riches, healing of the mind, yea, all I need in thee to find, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.  Just as I am, thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve; because thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.  Just as I am, thy love unknown hath broken every barrier down; now, to be thine, yea thine alone, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.”  (Just as I am)  Yes, God calls us, and we come to Him just as we are.  But is that it?  No!  God forgives our sins, yes, and He bestows His love upon us, and desires MORE!  He wants us to come just as we ARE, but NOT to stay that way!  When we come to the Lord, we are made NEW CREATIONS!  

James 1:1-27 ESV

… Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him…

Ephesians 4:22-24 ESV

To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Colossians 3:9-10 ESV

Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.

Romans 12:2 ESV

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Listen to this old hymn, especially the last few lines:  “Just as I am, thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve; because thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.  Just as I am, thy love unknown hath broken every barrier down; now, to be thine, yea thine alone, O Lamb of God, I come, I come”


Lie #10:  I have my rights.

Truth #10:  My rights only exist so far as how they impact others.  When my rights create a reaction from me that is negative toward others, that is no longer my right.  My right is to deny myself and LOVE.  My right is to CHOOSE OBEDIENCE to my God and King. 

Matthew 18:1-10 ESV

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me,

Matthew 7:21-23 ESV

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

Proverbs 14:12 ESV

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

These verses seem so harsh, don’t they?  But, it is truth.  Not my will, but yours be done, Lord.  Even Jesus prays these words in the Garden of Gethsemane the night He is arrested and taken to Pilate.  Yes, we submit the desires of our hearts before the throne of God.  We surrender all.  In serving Him, freedom is found!  Freedom from sin, from the demands of society, from the enemy’s snares!


Lie #11:  Physical beauty matters more than inner beauty.

Truth #11:  Did you know outer beauty is TEMPORARY?  Yep!  Gray hair comes, wrinkles form.  Plastic surgeons are unaffordable.  Outer beauty is fleeting, inner beauty of the soul is eternal.  Read these truths from God’s Word:

1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

Proverbs 31:30 ESV

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Ezekiel 28:17 ESV

Your heart was proud because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor. I cast you to the ground; I exposed you before kings, to feast their eyes on you.

1 Samuel 16:7 ESV

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

True beauty is from within.  True beauty shines through our eyes, our actions, our desire to follow and obey God.  True beauty is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Lie #12:  I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings.

Truth #12:  God gives us so much freedom and so many things to enjoy!  And, He gives us boundaries in which we can get the most pleasure out of them.  True!  Sex in the bounds of marriage is to be ENJOYED!  So, grab your spouse and GET IT ON!  If you are not yet married, wait.  TRUST ME!  The guidelines God gives us are to protect our hearts and our souls from the traps and lies of the enemy!  I struggled with unfulfilled desires for so long, that I gave in.  And I fell hard.  I shattered.  These desires were more than just sex.  It was money, STUFF, love, weight-loss, the “quick fix” of any issue I had in my life.  We, as humans, desire to take the easiest, shortest path.  Why?  Because it should be FASTER!  That’s the line the enemy gives us anyway.  DON’T LISTEN!!!!  It’s a TRAP!  In the book of James, we read, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”  There is purpose in the patience and self-control lessons the Lord brings us to and through.  We just don’t always understand them in the here and now.

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Romans 8:13 ESV

For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

Isaiah 55:8 ESV

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.


And that is Chapter 3.  I pray you found truth in the words and songs I have shared here.  May the Lord continue to work in your hearts today and in the days to come!  I have one more song for you today:


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