“Thank You, Lord, for being faithful, even when we are unfaithful to You. I recognize that we need Your presence and power if our marriage is going to reflect You and bring You glory. Please give me grace to be faithful to You and faithful to my husband. In the difficult times, help me to walk in humility, love, and forgiveness, and to trust You to work in our lives and our marriage. Amen.” (Lies Women Believe Workbook, page 70)
Marriage is hardly easy. Since the original sin, the relationship between husband and wife has been strained. Yes, there are easy times, and there are glorious times! And yet, there are troubles and even bombs that drop in the midst of marriage. More often than not, those bombs, termites, and rot consume our marriages before we even realize what is happening.
I’ve been there. I failed miserably, and gave up too easily. I fell victim to the lies of the enemy in so many ways! It got to the point where I was fighting for my life over suicidal thoughts, depression, and desperation. I was in anguish, from my marriage, and drowning in grief from losing my sister and grandfather just a few years prior to getting married. That’s the other thing: be emotionally healthy before getting married. Getting married in the midst of grief, if you don’t have the proper support in place, brings in all those termites right away, and you might not have the strength to survive anything like that too soon! Needless to say, I found myself divorced at age 26, turning 27 the next month.
And thus my journey toward healing from grief, from doubt, from selfish desires, began.
God, in His goodness, gave me a fresh start. For three years, He took me on a journey that taught me what a relationship based in Him looks like. When I finally understood that He alone is my desire, and that He alone can supply my every need, He allowed my heart to be ready for marriage once again. That is when I met Brandon. I am so thankful for the faith that blossomed in my heart and soul over that three year period! I am so thankful for the grace God showered upon me, for the cleansing flow of blood through Jesus Christ on the cross and the empty tomb that followed!
Not to say this marriage with Brandon is perfect. We certainly have had some arguments, and have been able to talk through them. It is challenging, financially and emotionally. And yet, our God is here. He is the center, and He allows us to communicate with Him and with each other. That is the secret: God alone. Marriage vows are impossible for us to keep on our own. We do need supernatural strength sometimes to press on, to ask for forgiveness, to offer forgiveness, to pray for each other, to release anger and frustration. For some, this is a daily occurrence. For others, this might happen once in a while. But at all costs, Christians in marriage, let us be faithful to our spouses and faithful to our God.
That is not to say if you are being abused you should stay where you are. Get help! It is ok to walk away from abuse and seek counsel and a safe haven. I will join you in prayer for that situation, for healing for the abusive spouse, for healing for you the abused. Cling to the Lord.
We are set apart for a reason: to be beacons of light in this dark world. Our marriages are one way those lights shine bright. So, if you are having trouble, seek counsel. Marriage counseling is a great thing, especially with a Christian counselor or therapist. Marriage accountability groups, a marriage mentor couple, marriage retreats are also great resources for getting through the tough times. The biggest things toward healing a marriage though: God and COMMUNICATION! Talk to each other! Listen to each other! Reflect with each other. Pray together. And love each other well.
That’s it for now. Thanks for reading. 🙂