Lies Women Believe, Chapter 7

So it is time for me to post my reflections from this chapter.  It has taken me a while, because there is a lot in this chapter I have yet to experience.  I am a relatively new mom, as my son is 15 months old just this week!  He had his wellness visit this week, and is growing and developing in amazing ways!

With this new insight as a mom, some of these lies hit me pretty hard.  Let’s dive in!



Lie #27:  It’s up to us to determine the size of our family.

Truth #27:  God is the author of Life.  Seriously, look at human anatomy:  in a woman, there are so many barriers and factors  going into whether an egg will be fertilized or not.  When I think of all the variables that go into this, I am amazed!  We can take birth control; we can make choices to seek fertility treatments or to terminate a pregnancy; men and women can have surgeries to “ensure” that pregnancy is not possible.  And yet, I am reminded of a young, teenage girl who stood before an angel and received the words that she would bear a child, that she would conceive by the Holy Spirit without ever having “known” a man sexually.  And from this girl, Mary, we meet our Savior and King, Jesus the Messiah.  Who are we to play God when it comes to pregnancy?  Rhetorical question there, as we have been given the gift of free will.

I go back to my claim though that God is the author or life.  We will never understand fully why He allows miscarriage, pregnancy, still-born births, and healthy babies.  We will never fully understand why some children are born without blemish, and others come out with very clear birth defects.  And yet, our God does not create mistakes.  And He has created each and every one of us, with purpose, for a purpose:  to honor and glorify Him.  All I know for sure is this:  if God wants a child to be born and live, He will make that happen.  There have been babies known to survive abortion attempts.   There have been so many women who have gotten pregnant out of wedlock who have chosen to give birth to the children they carry and either raise them as their own or lovingly give them to another family to raise and love.

Psalm 139:13-16  For you formed my inward parts;you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret,intricately woven in the depths of the earth.Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them,the days that were formed for me,when as yet there was none of them.

Luke 1: 26-38  In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!”But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?”And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.

So, I place myself in the Lord’s hands.  Yes, I have fear in this area, namely because I have type 1 diabetes.  The Lord has brought me through the pregnancy with my son with few issues.  I am so very thankful for the gift of Life that my son is!  And whether the Lord allows me to birth another child, opens the door to foster or adopt children who need to be loved and cherished, or any combination thereof, I want to be open to what my God has in store.


Lie #28:  Children need to get exposed to the “real world” so that they can learn to function in it.

Truth #28:  I don’t think I can say anything better than these passages of scripture.  For me, it comes down to this:  why let my son experience something that he is eventually going to have to “take off?”  Why do I even want to give him opportunity to TASTE what is evil?  I know he has free will, and I pray that as Brandon and I teach Zander the statutes of the Lord, that he will cling to the truths therein.

Proverbs 22:6

 Train up a child in the way he should go;even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

1 John 1

The Word of Life

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life— the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us— that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete.

Walking in the Light

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Philippians 4:4-9

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Romans 12:1-2

A Living Sacrifice

12 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Colossians 3

Put On the New Self

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. 11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.


Lie #29:  All children will go through a rebellious stage.

Truth #29:  It is my goal to teach Zander to be obedient.  Even at 15 months, he definitely pushes toward rebellion.  And yet, when I say to Zander as he plays in the grass, “Zander, that is not to eat.  Put that down,” he does!  Granted, I haven’t figured out how to get him to stop pulling one of the wall hangings down onto himself, but we’re working on it.  He responds to my “Zander, that’s not a toy” by looking at me with the”But it’s pretty and colorful and I want to play with it” look.  He will cry and fuss when he does not get his way, but he is also easily redirected into something more constructive.  If he is not easily redirected, I know he needs down time or a nap.  After 20 minutes of down time, he’s fine and back to learning what obedience is.

Ephesians 6:1-4

Children and Parents

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Scripture teaches that children are to obey and respect their parents.  Why encourage or expect them NOT to do these things?  Let’s start from day one and teach them the way in which they should walk.  (referring back to Proverbs 22:6)



Lie #30:  I know my child is a Christian because he prayed to receive Christ at an early age.

Truth #30:  When we are fully adopted into Christ’s family, there is fruit that bears witness to the transformation we experience.

Galatians 5:16-26

Keep in Step with the Spirit

16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.


Paul continues this thought even into the next chapter:

Galatians 6

Bear One Another’s Burdens

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.

Let the one who is taught the word share all good things with the one who teaches. Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. 10 So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

We see this again in 1 John 1:

Walking in the Light

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

I pray that my son comes to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ as his Savior at an early age!  I want my son to have as many years as possible to experience sanctification and transformation by the Holy Spirit!  I want him to have a Christian world-view and be able to make solid decisions based on knowledge and wisdom received from the Lord.  And I want to see him bear the FRUIT of the SPIRIT!  I want to see his heart stayed tried and true on what is good, what is pure, what will bring honor and glory to God!  As his mother, I will seek to guide and protect him from the snares of the enemy; if Zander falls into any of the enemy’s traps, I want his head knowledge and heart knowledge to lead him to Christ, take His hand, and climb up and out of the stronghold.  I cannot do that for him.  Zander’s faith will be his own, and I pray for strength and wisdom for us as his parents to teach him the Lord’s precepts.   Lord, may his eyes and ears be open to receive Your Truth!  May Brandon and I be diligent in teaching him Your Truth.



Lie #31:  We are not responsible for how our children turn out.

Truth #31:  Nancy addresses this lie on the two ends of the spectrum:  parents are 100% responsible for how they children turn out vs. parents are not responsible at all for how their children turn out.  There truly is a balance.  Yes, we pour into our children’s lives, teach them, correct them, discipline them, and everything else that goes along with being parents.  Ultimately, our children have free will.  They can choose Christ, or not choose Christ.  Of course, my heart’s desire is that my son will choose Christ!  As I stated earlier, though, his faith will be his own.  His dad and I can model for him as much as we are humanly able.  God gives us the responsibility to teach our children the ways of the Lord.  We will be held accountable for what we bestow upon our children.  Our children will then be responsible for their walk and obedience to the Lord.  We are all accountable to our actions and choices.  We all have soiled pasts, full of imperfections, mistakes, good and bad examples.  It is what we do with all of that stimulation that matters, both as parents and as children.

Our past does not define us.  Christ alone defines us.  Our past does not limit us.  For with God, nothing is impossible.

So many of the verses I have already shared hit the truth revealed here.  God calls us as parents to teach our children the commandments, the love of Christ, the sacrifice made for our sin, and our need for a Savior.  We are called to pray for our children, and to love them as Christ loves us.  If I could protect my son from every hurt, how would that benefit him?  Even God did not spare his son from pain and suffering.  Life can be hard.  Endurance of faith and breath are part of what we teach our children, and we can do that without throwing them to the wolves of this world.  We do that by walking in faith and trusting in God, seeking His wisdom and mercy every step of the way.




One thought on “Lies Women Believe, Chapter 7

  1. Disclaimer: For Lie/Truth #30: I am not implying that we are to judge our children. I am saying that we need to continually pray for our children, and look for the evidence of the Fruit of the Spirit not only in their lives, but in our own as well. Please, read what I write with caution. If you have any questions or concerns, email me! Thanks!

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